100% FuN

Friday, September 15, 2017

Actual photo of me waiting for my daughter to finish her homework

Unknown September 15, 2017 0 Comments

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Looks like my wife made toast while I was at work.

Unknown September 09, 2017 0 Comments

Best comments

Me: laughs

Wife: what?

Me: shows her this pic with title

Wife: Fuck off.

My girlfriend will actually get a clean plate out specifically for ketchup with her McDonald's fries. I was a clean freak once. I am prior military and I used to bounce a quarter off my bed. Something dies in you eventually. Its gradual and slow, like the morning cold that slowly eats away your bed-warmth as you make your first batch of coffee. You might not even notice at all. Then one day, you'll look up from your computer desk and notice that its the only surface in the house you can actually see and you spend most of your life there because its the only thing you have control over.

Like the piano my wife just had to move from our old to our new apartment. None of us, or our kids, play.

When I look at my desk all I see is a tape deck, some Creedence, and my briefcase with some uh, uh, papers, um, just papers, uh, you know, uh, my papers. Business papers.

I'm totally showing my SO this too and I know her reaction will be the same.

I've just spent the last half hour cleaning up her mess from the latter half of this week (I've been away) because she was in too much of a rush this morning to clean it up herself.

My gf does this and it irritates the shit out of me. The topper is she'll bury the scrub brush underneath this mountain of dishes.

Don't forget a bunch of silverware including sharp knives immersed in an under-rinsed pot of disgusting water you can't see through, with one or two spoons sticking out so when you grab them you immediately get an infection.

I'm a 36 yr old male and this is my philosophy. It makes zero sense to let shit pile up as you wait for other shit to finish. Plus you get to enjoy more time after eating.

Neighbors went to see "It." It will be dark when they see this.

Unknown September 09, 2017 0 Comments

what people said:

In all my time being different people's neighbor, I have never once known when they are away at a movie.

I wouldn't mind if my neighbors house burned down with them in it and if it takes my house with it, it would still be worth it.

My neighbors are racist fucks, all of 4 of car tires have been slash, windshield wipers snapped off, keyed, broken tail lights all done on separate occasions. Couldn't prove shit so when I finally got around to installing a camera in front of the house (where car is parked), they complained about invading their privacy because I could see when they leave the house. Following week, all the windows behind the house (no cameras there) are broken from mysterious flying rocks.

They are going to get their wish I guess as I'm and am moving away as soon as I can afford it.

Between this and the picture of Stephen King's house last week with the "Easter egg" I'm convinced that this movie is being pushed on reddit. Not that it's a bad movie...

Think about how much work you can get done in a day. 7.5 hours of solid working. Now imagine you're a smarter than average guy. Pretty cool. Now combine the two, and add in the fact that now your full time job is to promote a movie over every facet of social media. The amount of "oh look, Tim Curry has magically appeared for the first time in 20 years, oldschoolcool." "haha, my neighbour's random red balloon" etc. stuff on reddit is shocking when you actually look for it.

red balloon sales must be really popping right now

I can finally afford 99 red balloons :)

Go get a clown mask and put it on a pole outside their bathroom window.

Next step: Buy one if those cards you can record a message on.

Record: "You'll float too..." A couple times in as creepy of voice as you can.

Tape card, opened, under the sewer grate.